Friday, July 25, 2014

A hurricane of change

So remember last week when I was all on about how I think change is a fabulous thing and I'm totally into it?

A HUGE part of me wants to take all of that back.

This past week with the precious twins was more life-changing and overwhelming than I could have ever possibly known, and there was just no way to prepare for it.  It was one of the best weeks of my entire life, and I haven't been so heartbroken as when I had to say goodbye to them in a very, very long time.  Not just feeling heartbroken that I had to leave, but heartbroken because I will never ever see them at that tiny size again.  They've already grown and changed so much in just nine little days on the planet.  When Marc and I go see them again, they'll be six weeks old and so much bigger.  They'll have hit tiny milestones I'll have missed.  When we leave, we won't see them again until December when they'll be over five months old.  It might seem silly or trivial, but it feels truly heartbreaking.

And now that I'm back, we are thrown head-first into moving and it feels like we have a billion things to do and haven't had a chance to start hardly any of it.

So - this blog will not be my best!  I am short on inspiration, high on joy and stress from the babies and moving, and ready to get this show on the road so we can be in our new beautiful place this time next week.  I leave you with, instead of anything inspiring, informative, or yogic, some beautiful baby pictures:


My sister is not only phenomenal for delivering twins without C-Section and being an amazing mother to these kids, but because only four days after doing that she was up for venturing out into the world!  Babies' first Target trip!
Second Storytime ever!  Atlas was mildly into it; Zoe slept through it.

Holding my Zoe-bug for the first time - she's
only about 13 hours old.
My last morning with my sweet one-week-old Atlas.

Friday, July 11, 2014

The Constant of Change

Happy July!  The month has partly felt like it's crawling, but mostly just feels like it is sprinting recklessly ahead.  Three people I encountered today experienced massive shock over the fact that it's already the 11th?

Two huge life changes are coming up for us, and one admittedly is a much bigger life change for my sister and Jeremy than it is for Marc and I.  We thought they'd be here by now, but they will certainly be here by tomorrow - our first beautiful niece and nephew, Zoe and Atlas, will be making their debut any moment now.  (Not a moment too soon for any of us, especially their mama!)  I'm flying out next Wednesday to meet them, and I am exploding with excitement.  I cannot wait to spend a week completely immersed in them.

The second, the secretive one I eluded to last week, is finally official - Marc and I are moving!  We're staying in the beautiful Ditmars area of Astoria, and are taking over the gorgeous apartment of our very dear friends Billy and Ramsey who are moving to London after a fabulous job opportunity came knocking.  Marc and I had no plans at all to leave our humble little abode in which we've spent the last four years, but the timing of everything turned out to be perfect.  (With the obvious exception that we are truly devastated to have two amazing friends moving so far away.) It's financially scary, but the big positive is that it's finally gotten us on the same page about a budget (which probably counts as a third change, and could very well have its own entry.  Or entire blog)

It's gotten me thinking about change itself.  I used to be absolutely petrified of change - I hated the idea of it.  This is mainly back in high school and college, where I had amazing friends that I couldn't fathom the idea of leaving behind.  And leaving for college meant leaving the structured school/class system - I had no interest!  It's a wonder I didn't end up applying to grad schools.

The older I get, though, the more I've been able to embrace change and see it as a good thing.  Something like new babies being born or moving into a bigger apartment can obviously be seen as positive, but I feel like I've been able to take on that attitude toward changes that aren't so welcome.  I've learned that things I thought would be terrible or setbacks have turned out to be either wonderful or wonderful teachers.  After all, doesn't adversity grow character?

In yoga, nothing is static.  You're shifting from pose to pose, or even in the stillness of meditation you have the movement of the breath.  In a balance pose, you wobble, even if just slightly.  And in a kid's yoga class, forget it - we're changing animals and adventures and shapes every five seconds.  You go on a mini-journey in each class and strive to have the same balanced breath and meditative mind-state throughout each and every step.  From beginning Om to the hardest poses to savasana and every change in between, there's nothing but change.  The you who enters the classroom and the you who leaves are not the same person.  We shed and regenerate cells constantly.  We grow older every day.

I'm not sure what my broader point here is today, except to say - change is inevitable.  Change is great.  Change is sometimes sad and scary.  Change can be overwhelming.  The key is to have the flexibility of mind and breath to go with the flow.  Overprepare...and then go with the flow.

I may or may not see you next week - if I do, it'll be a long distance blog from gorgeous South Carolina!