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Nothing but the truth

Do you ever get stressed out by someone's negative opinion of you?  We all have at some point, usually someone close to us or someone we see every day - a family member, friend, co-worker, etc.  Do you ever get stressed out at your perception that someone may have a negative opinion of you?

As people in a society that values individuality and independent strength, we're often told that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of us.  That's all fine and dandy, but the reality is that very often our chatty, insecure little egos will hang on to a misunderstanding, a cold look, a disapproving comment, whatever it might be - and spin it into a catastrophic internal emotional event that can ruin your day, your week - or even a relationship.  Perhaps insecurities you feel about yourself are hanging on to that outside stimulus and use it as an excuse to spin stories that only serve to feed those insecurities further.

I was struggling through a situation like that, and Marc, my usual source for nuggets of wisdom that wind up creating blog posts, said something that really stuck with me. 

"What someone else thinks of you is not more important than the truth."

Simple, why-didn't-I-think-of-that obvious, and so very true.

Whether it be someone's legitimate opinion or a misunderstanding on their part, if you believe in yourself, their negativity shouldn't really matter.  However, it's that believing-in-yourself part that's at the crux of it all.  Even if you have perfectly fabulous and flawless self esteem, everyone has a little dark side to their mind.  Perceived coldness or disapproval from someone else can all too easily unlock the dark side of our minds that tells us we suck.

The truth is, it's all coming from us.  Our happiness is something that we choose.  Letting someone else completely shift the way you feel about yourself is a huge waste of your time and energy.

Easy to say, less easy to practice.  All we can do is find what works for us - for me, it's just remembering that one sentence.  What someone thinks of you is not more important than the truth.

What do you all do to help lift yourself up out of the negative self talk?

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It's been eight years today since I've been with the love of my life.

A few months from five years married (Costa Rica, here we come).

Eight years and a couple months since living in the city.

Seven years of Friendsgivings in NYC with my chosen family.

Seven years of Karma Kids Yoga - more chosen family and buckets of kids.

Ten years since college; fourteen of the friendships.

One picked-clean, no leftovers turkey last night.  A table of desserts.

And in ten days we do it again with family.

This morning I'm tired, still full, and grateful.