Today is March 11th, and it also happens to mark 11 more days until Marc and I get married. As the day draws closer and the numbers get smaller, I get more and more excited, and, happily, the "to-do's" on the to do list seem to get a little bit smaller, a little more manageable.
It's not just the wedding day itself drawing near that's making me so happy and excited - many other little milestones are yet closer - 13 more days until our New Hampshire mini-moon, 9 more days til I see my family, 7 more days until we head to Boston, 5 more working days for me. As you can tell, I'm totally the kind of person who likes to keep a countdown going of anything I'm looking forward to, from the wedding to the date of a big race to the date of going home for a holiday. I'll even put a countdown on the release of a movie I'm dying to see. Most people have a tendency to either dwell more in the past or in the future - you can guess which one I am.
Because the wedding is getting so close, I'm starting to think a little bit of the "post-wedding let down" I've read and heard about. After all, as long as we're measuring things in days, in only 17 days we come back to New York as a married couple...and then all of the work, planning, and delicious anticipation of the past almost-year is over. Earlier in the planning stages I didn't think as much about "missing" this phase, but I think I get it now. Lord knows it's not the work or errands or endless stressful "to-do's" that I'll miss, but it's really just the pure anticipation. Having a bright spot to look forward to on the horizon. Something to imagine and fantasize about.
And once again, I'm brought back to that ever elusive yogic ideal of being present. In this month of making a huge life commitment, I've also resolved to make a bigger commitment to my yoga practice than I've had for the past several months. I do my best to sit and meditate every morning. If I have extra time, I'll thrown in some sun salutations. When I don't sit to meditate first thing in the morning, I make sure I listen to one of my meditation tracks on the subway. I try to prioritize something, whether it be meditation, practicing patience, compassion, active asana, or restorative yoga. Being present, though, is the huge reason why it was so important for me to recharge my yoga batteries this month. I can't constantly be in countdown and fantasizing mode or else I'm cheating myself of this special time and of the daily joys in my life as it is under normal, non-wedding circumstances.
I'm not a robot, of course - I will still anticipate quite a lot! By bringing myself back to the present mindfully, though, I'll help myself truly enjoy this time, enjoy every lovely, mundane, funny, or annoying part of each day, as well as keep me more flexible when things inevitably go wrong during the wedding.
The good news is that I can already feel myself moving toward a more zen, "let-it-go" place. The more I try to keep my focus on enjoying every moment, no matter what the moment is, the closer I get to it. Besides...how can the "post-wedding let down" possibly compare to the glow of being a newlywed?
Depending on how things go next week, this may be my last blog as a single lady. We'll just have to see! If it is, I hope everyone has a marvelous March and I'll see you on the other side!
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